it normal to feel 'cheated' out of a natural delivery? The short answer is yes. The long
answer is that delivery of a child is a very personal experience. While
many women may speak openly about their visions of their wedding - it
is not so common for women to share their vision of birthing their child.
If you are someone for whom the experience of delivering your child naturally
was very important - then you certainly may feel that you were cheated
-- robbed of an experience which you had imagined in a very particular
way. It doesn't help if the people around you keep insisting that you have
a healthy baby and that is all that counts. Some people just don't understand
what you mean when you say that the c-section destroyed a dream for you.
Maybe you feel you can't tell them the truth because they are so focused
on the joy of your new child?
So where to go from here? Find other women who understand.
Find a local chapter of the International Cesarean
Awareness Network (ICAN) or join their online forum (you will need to register for an account first, but that is free).
All of this seem like too much? Well, take a simple first
step. Admit to yourself you are disappointed and write it down. Get
it out of your head and on paper (or into a word processor). Just that
first step alone can help you feel more in control of your own experience.
Recovery From A Cesarean If you only go to one site
about this topic - go here. Amazing resource that covers all sorts
of emotional issues caused by c-sections, and help in finding
the road to recovery. Especially helpful if you feel that
no-one is hearing you when you talk about how hard your
recovery has been emotionally. Also a great resource for those
trying to understand someone who is having a hard emotional
recovery after a c-section.
the New Mother: Women's Feelings and Needs After Childbirth a Support
and Resource Guide A fabulous resource for the new mom
and those who want to do their best to support her. While this book
does not have a special focus on cesarean moms, it is still a great
resource for all the rollercoster ride which is becoming the mother
of a new baby.
This Isn't What I Expected
: Overcoming Postpartum Depression Thorough coverage of postpartum depression
including symptoms, treatment options and stories from other mothers
to reassure you that you are not alone. You are not the first mother to
feel this way.
Depression: Assorted Books Browse this list for lots
more books addressing the topic of postpartum depression.
There are lots of options here - everything from first
person accounts to guides on how to survive and conquer
this incredible challenge.
|I feel so depressed - is there
help for me?
Yes. There are support groups, phone
lines, therapists and books. Go here to find postpartum
depression books. There are people who have been where you are.
There are people who can help you. If you are in need of immediate
help, please contact 1-800-SUICIDE
right now! The world is a better place with you
Do you feel as if you have been depressed about
this for a long time? C-section increases your risk of postpartum depression.
Reach out for someone to help you:
Support Group This Online Postpartum Depression support group
website has a wealth of information for those suffering from PPD
(and those who are hoping to help/understand them). Includes a
PostPartum Depression Community online forum.
Support International Information about postpartum mood
disorders, a self assessment test and resources to find the
support you need. Includes pointers to online support resources
and a directory for locating local support groups in your
area. Does not specifically address c-section, but many
of these same resources can be used to help the post c-section
mom in her emotional recovery.
This active message board from the creators of the 'What to Expect' pregnancy series gives you a great place to
find other moms who are struggling with postpartum depression.
Trauma and Birth Stress - PTSD After
Childbirth To quote their website: "Originating in New Zealand,
TABS is Trauma And Birth Stress, a Charitable Trust that
serves as a support group of mothers...because of the
need to make PTSD known as a form of mental illness that
can happen following childbirth, but quite distinct from
the Baby Blues, Post Natal Depression (Post Partum Depression)
and Post Natal Psychosis." This site is a great resource
for information about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
caused specifically by traumatic birth experiences. Emergency
Caesarean Section is specifically listed as a common risk factor.
Risk factors also include many issues often confronting c-section
moms including: "Traumatic delivery, Impersonal treatment,
overly professional, stand-offish or judgmental attitude of
the staff, and Invasive procedures without explanations or
consent." Provides lists of signs and symptoms, treatment options