Is it normal to feel 'cheated' out of a natural delivery? The short answer is yes. The long answer is that delivery of a child is a very personal experience. While many women may speak openly about their visions of their wedding - it is not so common for women to share their vision of birthing their child. If you are someone for whom the experience of delivering your child naturally was very important - then you certainly may feel that you were cheated -- robbed of an experience which you had imagined in a very particular way. It doesn't help if the people around you keep insisting that you have a healthy baby and that is all that counts. Some people just don't understand what you mean when you say that the c-section destroyed a dream for you. Maybe you feel you can't tell them the truth because they are so focused on the joy of your new child?

So where to go from here? Find other women who understand. Find a local chapter of the International Cesarean Awareness Network (ICAN) or join their Facebook Group (with over 13,000 members as of September 2022).

All of this seem like too much? Well, take a simple first step. Admit to yourself you are disappointed and write it down. Get it out of your head and on paper (or into a word processor). Just that first step alone can help you feel more in control of your own experience.

I feel so depressed - is there help for me?
Yes. There are support groups, phone lines, therapists and books. Go here to find postpartum depression books. There are people who have been where you are. There are people who can help you. If you are in need of immediate help in the United States, please call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline number right now! The world is a better place with you in it.

Do you feel as if you have been depressed about this for a long time? C-section increases your risk of postpartum depression. Reach out for someone to help you:

Emotional Recovery From A Cesarean: If you only go to one site about this topic - go here. Amazing resource that covers all sorts of emotional issues caused by c-sections, and help in finding the road to recovery. Especially helpful if you feel that no-one is hearing you when you talk about how hard your recovery has been emotionally. Also a great resource for those trying to understand someone who is having a hard emotional recovery after a c-section.

Online PPD Support Group: This Online Postpartum Depression support group website has a wealth of information for those suffering from PPD (and those who are hoping to help/understand them).

Postpartum Support International: Information about postpartum mood disorders, a self assessment test and resources to find the support you need. Includes pointers to online support resources and a directory for locating local support groups in your area. Does not specifically address c-section, but many of these same resources can be used to help the post c-section mom in her emotional recovery.

Popstpartum Depression: This active message board from the creators of the 'What to Expect' pregnancy series gives you a great place to find other moms who are struggling with postpartum depression.

Trauma and Birth Stress - PTSD After Childbirth: This site is a great resource for information about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) caused specifically by traumatic birth experiences. Emergency Caesarean Section is specifically listed as a common risk factor. Risk factors also include many issues often confronting c-section moms including: "Traumatic delivery, Impersonal treatment, overly professional, stand-offish or judgmental attitude of the staff, and Invasive procedures without explanations or consent." Provides lists of signs and symptoms, treatment options, and publications.

Mothering the New Mother: Women's Feelings and Needs After Childbirth a Support and Resource Guide A fabulous resource for the new mom and those who want to do their best to support her. While this book does not have a special focus on cesarean moms, it is still a great resource for all the rollercoster ride which is becoming the mother of a new baby.

This Isn't What I Expected : Overcoming Postpartum Depression: Thorough coverage of postpartum depression including symptoms, treatment options and stories from other mothers to reassure you that you are not alone. You are not the first mother to feel this way.

Postpartum Depression: Assorted Books: Browse this list for lots more books addressing the topic of postpartum depression. There are lots of options here - everything from first person accounts to guides on how to survive and conquer this incredible challenge.